The terms Godmother and Godfather sound cool, especially after Mario Puzo’s Godfather. Beyond its coolness are the responsibilities that come with it. It is a Western term; there is no tradition of a godparent in India, but our mother’s sisters just consider us their responsibility too, just because of the love in their hearts. Taking care of a child or protecting a child is outright difficult. It is not just about feeding or keeping them alive; it is about moulding them to become accountable for themselves and their families.
It was because of her that I had a somewhat bearable childhood. Arundamma (short for Arundathi amma) arranged for everyone to be at her house during the summer and Diwali vacations. We used to be so excited about it, especially me, because, unlike everyone else, I never had any friends because of my social anxiety. She made special dishes for us, and being the brilliant cook that she is, we used to eat them up until every grain was gobbled up. I also used to observe how clean and presentable her preparations were.
Every summer vacation, she took us all cousins to places we would have never otherwise had the circumstances to go. She has a stubborn daughter, who is also my sweetheart. Shari (Sarika) ensured that all her cousins were there at her house during vacations. She took us all to water parks, gardens, hill stations, etc., and our favourite spot, AppuGhar in Pune. These are only the good memories that I carry from my childhood. She used to take Shari and me to her friend’s house, but we always embarrassed her by not talking much to them and not answering their typical questions properly. I was shy, and she was reserved. We had our world, and the best company was with each other.
Raghu Valiachan, her husband, was a silent guardian for us. I was always intimidated by him, and I still am. I knew he was sweet and nice inside, but I never dared to talk openly to him. His eyes are so intense that I cannot hold eye contact with him for more than a few seconds, but he never scolded me. He even never minded our naughty cousins who created a ruckus in his house. He just always watched TV when he was at home.
The clothes on our bodies were all her endowments. During Diwali, she brought us new clothes. I vividly remember that there was only one pair of clothes that our able father purchased for me and my brother until now — none for my sister. She also gave us sweet boxes from the share Valiachan procured to give his employees. I was always in awe of her; she is a very talented woman. She was a brilliant classical dancer and took Bharatanatyam classes. She also helped Valiachan in his business.
A kid like me with a useless father and helpless mother does not warrant this question, but she asked me this question after I completed my 12th grade. “What would you like to do for your career?” At that time, I may not have understood the value of this question or how lucky I was to be even given options. She gave me some choices, like doing a B.Ed. to become a teacher, among many others. At that time, I was dumb enough to choose or know what to do. I wanted to become a doctor, but I knew I could not pursue it as our circumstances dictated. I started a BSc and a graphic design course, which she paid for (if I remember correctly, it was 48000 Rs for the course).
After I passed my 12th, she brought me to her home to stay with them for studies until I found a job. I stayed there for around 3 years. After the first year, I found a job and switched to a Bcom degree (as a BSc could not be done through distance learning).
If it was not for her, we would have been uneducated now and struggling for jobs. She helped me, my sister, and my brother with school and college fees. At present, she and Valiachan reside in Kerala. I am not much of a conversationalist, but I always wanted to tell her how much I appreciated what she had done for us. We owe her and Valiachan so much that we will forever be indebted to them. I do not have it in me to pick up the call and ask her, “How are you?”. I get too anxious anticipating what I should say after she answers. I am hoping this will help, as writing is both a salvation and a remedy.
