This is another taboo topic that is not discussed enough because of the lack of knowledge and our cultures not allowing us to talk aloud about it. On a note of breaking cultural barriers and addressing parity, let's discuss the Orgasm gap in detail.
"A woman’s body is like a violin; it takes a terrific musician to play it right." —JD Salinger
Unfortunately, many women do not know what orgasms are, and they might not know if they have experienced them or not. Some of them won't even know if sex involves pleasure for them too, and not just their male partners. A good number of them know what orgasms are but, unfortunately, have never experienced them. Do women talk about it? Very few. The ones who talk about orgasms or expect them are termed preposterous, because for women to get pregnant, orgasms are not needed. So why make a big deal out of it, right? For some women, sex is just another chore like every other work they do, as they are the dutiful maids of the house. If we are more receptive and think about our earlier generations, our grandmothers were just baby-making machines. For them, sex would be just for making babies, and many would not know about the pleasures of orgasms, let alone talk about them.
According to Dr. Tanaya (@dr_cuterus), an orgasm is a sense of release that you might feel if you're sexually stimulated in any way. This could involve touching, stroking, or even, for some, oral sex. And excitement starts building, and after a certain point, you have this sense of release. According to statistics, less than 20% of vulva owners or women have vaginal orgasm, and 80% have never experienced vaginal orgasms. She encourages women to look at their vulvas as it is wonderful and helps to have orgasm. It is cool because we are born through the vagina out of the vulva.
According to scientific findings by Elizabeth A. Mahar, 60% of women orgasm during masturbation, 64% of women orgasm if the partner is a woman, and only 29% if the partner is a man. One of the main reasons is a lack of knowledge of a woman’s anatomy. Very little effort is made by the male partners to find the clitoris or G-Spot or A-Spot, whichever is the go-to for that particular woman. The nerve endings of different women are different. This research also shows that women value their partners' pleasure more than themselves, thus keeping low expectations of them being satisfied. It is seen that women fake orgasm just to pacify their male partners' egos. Some women feel they do not orgasm because something is wrong with them.
Women get equally aroused as men, and their libidos are intense. According to Dr. Niveditha Manokaran, women have two hormones: oestrogen and progesterone. They feel aroused at some points in their cycle, and they may not feel so aroused at other parts. Women feel most aroused when they have a high amount of oestrogen in their bodies, which usually happens when they are ovulating. Around day 13–15 of the cycle, they have high oestrogen levels. They also feel aroused after or on the day their period has begun, because before periods, progesterone is high, and drops when periods start, and oestrogen becomes normal.
What are the issues.
- Lack of foreplay is one of the reasons. She needs to be very aroused. Exciting her mind and her body is very important.
- Sex education plays an important role. Most people, regardless of gender, refer to the entire female sex organ as "vagina," which is incorrect. The vulva and the clitoris are not often addressed. In simpler terms, a clitoris is the female version of a penis. Most women experience clitoral orgasms more than vaginal ones by squeezing their thighs together or putting pressure on the clitoris. It is normal for some women to not experience vaginal orgasm. They can get it by stimulating the clitoris or maybe if their partners can find the G-Spot.
- Another breaking point is that the G-Spot is not a myth, it does exist. You can learn where the G-Spot is and stimulate yourself. Some researchers do deny its existence. It was named after Ernst Grafenberg. It is an erotic zone that could be on the inner front wall of the vagina. For some, the G-spot is higher, while for others it is closer to the vaginal opening.
- "A woman's orgasm is such a fragile thing, dependent as much upon her mind as on her clitoris" -Megan Hart. One’s mindset should be in the present activity. The ability of both partners' minds to connect is critical.
- Anxiety, depression, overthinking, or other mental health issues also cause orgasmic disorders across genders. Performance anxiety is most common in men.
- Some women who lack pelvic muscle tone or vaginal muscle tone are unable to orgasm.
- Cultural shame is another barrier. The thought that sex and masturbation are bad is built into most people’s minds. Some families are very religious and, hence, talking about sex or private parts is not encouraged.
- Body shaming their own selves, negative thoughts about their own body parts, and feelings that they are not good enough are also problematic. When they are so concerned about their body parts, they refuse to have their partners touch them in certain areas.
FACTS
- Orgasms make us feel happy. Believe it or not, it also leads to good heart health. It releases happy hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, which also induces better sleep. They are healthy for you. -Dr. Tanaya
- Transgender people are able to orgasm after gender reassignment surgery.
- Unlike men, women can have multiple orgasms with repeated stimulation.
- Homosexual women have more orgasm than heterosexual women.
Men often complain that women and their bodies are complicated, and it is difficult to know what a woman desires. The simple answer to this is 'Ask, and it shall be given to you.' Sexual Health Educator Seema Anand stresses the importance of communication She says in Section Two of Kama sutra that conversation is the biggest thing. Before you even start foreplay, you need to understand your partner better.
Not all men are disinterested in knowing how to please a woman, but what stops them is their knowledge of the female body and their inability to understand their needs.
To overcome this orgasm gap, people across genders need to know more about women’s bodies. Both men and women should know about the clitoris. Women look at themselves in the mirror so often. Spare some time to look at your vulva too. Clitoral stimulation is the way to go for women unable to orgasm vaginally. Sex toys are also safe to use, according to gynecologists. The most important thing is to stop being guilty for wanting to be equally sexually satisfied as your male partners or even more and Men, it is not so hard. Just find it. Can we look forward to orgasm equality too?
Published on www.medium.com
