This song called "Jaane de" by "Qarib Qarib Singlle" was recommended to me by a YouTube algorithm. While listening to it, I was randomly reading the comments when I came across one sad one. It was a long read. He narrated his story about his five-year relationship. He says they were going to settle, but she left for a job in another country. They stayed in touch for a while, and then it stopped. She came back with another guy and got married to him. Our guy was obviously heartbroken. He wonders how a person can change so much. He poetically says at the end, “Sometimes I think, Ek baar puchh leta usse, what went wrong? Par kya kahe Jaane de!”
The comment thread continued, with so many people relating to that guy and telling their stories of how they were left alone by their loved ones. Some were committed for three years, five years, or twelve years, making the pain all the more intense.
The agonising pain that never goes away. It’s difficult to accept that the person to whom we’ve given everything will simply leave without even considering our feelings.
The person leaving may have a valid reason for doing so. They may be hurting too. They might have thought about it a million times before breaking up. It would be unjust to you whichever way they chose to leave. It is never fair, regardless of how they go about it.
Your life comes to a standstill. You feel like you cannot move another step. You are falling continuously into a dark pit, and there is no way out. You attempt to continue with your day-to-day life, but your heart feels like it does not want to function anymore. It feels like you are carrying around a heavy lump of mass in your chest. When you cry, you will feel lighter for a while, but you go back to the same condition again. Breathing becomes a task.
You will overthink to the point of craziness about what went wrong. You will do anything to divert your attention away from it. You will draw comfort from music, movies, and books.
The pain never goes away completely. But I can assure you one thing: it will decrease, eventually. You will come to terms with how unfair life is, but you still have to go on.
So hang in there; this will really pass. Love does tear apart our hearts and render us without hope. We dive into loneliness and make a safe spot there, reluctant to come out.
When you do come out, you will see that people are as vulnerable as you. They know they may get hurt but are willing to give love a chance. Both love and pain are components of what makes us human. In the movie Blade Runner 2049, Jared Leto’s character says, “Pain reminds you the joy you felt was real.”
I’d like to share something even more incredible, scientific, and extraordinary. It is Quantum Entanglement. I do not understand it fully yet, but I will share something I read, relating to this topic.
Entanglement is when two separate particles bond so strongly that what happens to one affects the other, even if they are separated by thousands of miles. Humans are also made up of tiny subatomic particles, leading some scientists to believe our own particles may get “entangled” with other people’s when we fall in love or form a strong bond.
My intention in bringing this up is that there is so much we don’t understand about love, life, and this universe. There is both love and pain in the world, and the people who have felt both are fortunate. We are not alone.
