I am 30 years old and have a condition called Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). I have reached menopause. My gynaecologist says it happens rarely; according to Google, 1 in 1000 females. My Anti-Mullerian Hormone test shows that my ovaries don’t have enough eggs, hence I am infertile. I will never be able to get pregnant, and that’s fine. I have suspected it for a long time now, but menopause is something I still haven’t come to terms with. I will never get my period again. I don’t know if it’s weird or not, but I used to love my periods. I loved that pain too. It made me feel more womanly and also, during my periods, I used to feel the most sensuous. All that is down the drain now. One of the main symptoms of menopause is weight gain, along with hot flushes, mood swings, anxiety, etc. I gained 13 kg in one year. Stress and anxiety helped too. The doctor says to lead a happy life from now on, don’t take stress and follow a diet and exercise plan. Only then will you lose weight. Well, I am trying, but is it really possible to live without stress in today’s world? To be stress free, I will have to shun the outside world and live in a cocoon, free of worldly miseries and pain. That’s not really practical. My friend Mansi has a more positive approach towards this condition. She says, “Di, think about the guy who will come into your life ahead. He will be a progressive and will break stereotypes. That would be sexy.” I smiled. It is a good way to look at it, but again, dealing with a relationship is more stressful…
When something like this happens, I think about all the great women who found career success in life. They would have had to come across so many barriers in their professional lives and personal lives. They have their own struggles; they have to deal with sexism at work as well as in their personal lives. Then there is society bringing them down with stereotypes and societal pressures; family obstacles; and so on. The cherry on top would be the hormonal issues in her body. PCOD, PCOS, POF.. endless terms and endless medicines for each of them and the side effects of the disorders as well as the medicines. They still have to go on, ignoring their mood swings, hot flushes, anxiety, stress, and weight gain or loss.
I was talking to Anitha one day. She owns a Kerala store near my house. She says she is always tired and weak. Her husband gets irritated when she complains, so she doesn’t say much anymore. She had a bacterial abscess in her breasts some years back. During periods, her breasts used to grow in size and cause pus formation. Earlier, she thought it was cancer, but doctors ruled it out. She went to many doctors before she found out what it was. She went through 3 surgeries to get it right. She couldn’t breast feed her second son as the doctor said her milk could be infected. Her husband did help her in this process by taking her to the hospital and taking care of their older son, but apparently he made it clear that he wouldn’t be taking her to any hospital again. He was tired, and that we can understand, but does he understand her pain, her guilt? She must have gone through hell to trouble her husband like that, not being there for her kid, not being able to feed her son, all this while going through immense pain in her breast. Women frequently feel guilty if they think about themselves, do something for themselves, or take time out for themselves.They tend to forget that, apart from being a mother, wife, daughter, or sister, she is a person, a human being who has to take care of herself and prioritise her needs over duties.
My sister is going through something similar. She has something called galactophora, which causes women who have never been pregnant to lactate. It happens because of the elevation of a hormone produced in the brain called prolactin, which is released prematurely. Again, there were cancer scares, but the doctor ruled it out for now. She is fine now after taking meds for it. She works in the hospitality field. She is an air hostess. She has to be pleasant no matter what. She has had irregular and painful periods for a long time now. She battles all that and puts on a brave face, excelling at her work, dealing with unruly passengers and an unfair and capitalist employer.
Published on www.medium.com
https://medium.com/@egalitariansaranya/women-and-their-beautiful-hormones-cbda5d3ec
